Monday, September 12, 2011

10 Years of Growth

This week has been quite the roller coaster of a week. I actually changed my blog template this week to match my feelings. I feel like I've been swimming in pea soup.... its the only way I can explain it. I've had trouble sleeping since last Friday (thankfully I'm moving out of that pattern and have slept like a rock the last two nights), we've had rain, rain and more rain, flooding, closed roads, more rain, lots of gray skies, I was rear-ended on Wednesday and of course have felt all the emotions of everyone's where were you 10 years ago on 9/11.

I've read a story of someone who lost a loved one, a story of someone who was in the middle of the crisis, and a story of someone who saw the terrorists the night before the attack. All stories are heart wrenching and make mine pretty much null and void. Up until now I've never only heard those stories on TV, not through someone that I know and speak with on a regular basis. All I can say is like many, that day was a huge eye opener to me. My innocent eyes were opened. That's it. That's my story.

This week hearing all the where were you, what's your story, and how did you react has had me look back on the last 10 years. Really and truly the last 10 years has been the first 10 years I've been an "adult", I made decisions on my own, and the memories I made were of my own accord. I've had flash backs all week to who I was and how I got to where I am today. I was 18 years old on 9/11. I'm 28 today. Sitting here blogging at 11pm on 9/11 because I've finally had the words come to me and I won't be able to sleep until I get them out. My last 10 years are just bursting out of me.

In September 2001, I was starting my first semester in college. I had no clue what I wanted to do or be... but I knew I had to go. I also knew I had to get it done in four years because that is what my parents were paying up until. I don't look at it as a bad thing. I look at it as a motivational thing. I needed that motivation to get myself through it.

I was still dating my high school sweetheart and still driving my 1991 Honda Civic Si Hatchback that had a sunroof. MAN DID I LOVE THAT CAR! I at least loved it until the sun roof start leaking and the mileage reach 165k+. The thought of getting married or having children scared the crap out of me. I also got my first cell phone that was capable of text messaging. Woo hoo!

In the beginning of 2003, my high school sweetheart and I called it quits and I re-met Kevin. I say re-met because Kevin and I actually met in middle school and became friends in high school. After high school we stayed in touch via instant messenger and running into each other randomly out and about. We started officially dating March 2003. I never meant to date Kevin long term. We joke about it now, but at the time I was just getting out of a long term relationship... the last thing I wanted to get into was another long term relationship. Who knew!

In 2003, I started school at University of Baltimore going for a degree in Corporate Communications. I was finally sure of what I was going for. I also completed my Usui Reiki Master training. I then taught my first Reiki classes even though I never thought I would find myself teaching. The thought of marriage and children still scared me.

In 2004, I bought my first car. I was able to finance it myself with no co-signing. I was pretty proud of myself. I completed my Karuna Reiki Master training. I also turned 21.

In 2005, I finished the last of my college classes and Kevin proposed to me before I could even walk across the stage to get my degree. We moved into together. Our first home was in Arnold, MD. It was a HUGE rental. 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms HUGE (I mean... 4 toilets for 2 butts huge...)! Needless to say I was no longer scared at the thought of marriage. Children.... I still wasn't too fond of them. We did however, taken in two super cute kittens... Joy and Sylvester.

The end of 2005 I left the company I had worked with all through high school and college. It was my first leap to a job where I didn't have family connections. It was the best decision I made. I also met my future co-teacher with whom I taught many, many Reiki classes with. My mom and my step dad moved to Arizona....and I still miss my mom Every.Single.Day.

In 2006, we moved to Pasadena, MD. We rented at townhouse on the water. It was smaller than what we had before, but BEAUTIFUL.

In 2007, Kevin and I got married and went on our honeymoon. Children were still just a chilling thought way way out in my very distant future.

In 2008, I changed jobs. The new job made me more of a programmer and less of a designer. We bought our first home in Pasadena, MD. I still laughed at people who warned us buying a house = making a baby.

The beginning of 2009 we welcomed Captain Jack a super cute puppy we found on into our home and bought a Chevy Trailblazer. Kevin went on a snowboarding trip for a week... while he was gone... the bug bit me... Its not that I wanted a baby... I wanted a family. I wanted our little family of two to grow.... Who the hell would have thought! NOT ME! I can't explain it but the most anti-baby person became I wanna make babies with you person. Woah!

April 2009 I got knocked up.

January 2nd 2010... Connor was born. One of the best things to ever happen in my life.

Since then Kevin and I have grown and learned SO MUCH in the last year and half. Just when I think we've got it down... We're learning knew ways of communicating and how to get things done. I've become a mom. I still go into shock when I sit and think about it. My 10 years ago self goes... WTF!!?? My heart has grown and my eyes have opened to everything I would be missing out on.

So here we are... Sept 11th 2011... only 15 min left in the day... I'm now working at the community college I was on my way to 10 years ago when I heard on the radio that a plane had flown into the Twin Towers. I feel like I've come full circle in that aspect. We're still in our house we bought, we still have two cats and a dog, still have the same old Jeep Kevin picked me up in for our first date, and we're the family that I pictured when the bug hit. Don't get excited folks... the bug hasn't bit again! That's still a ways out.

Today was spent with friends watching the Ravens hand it to the Steelers. Cooking out, eating good food, drinking good beer and on my table there was a candle lit. Its the candle that we used at our wedding to represent those who were with us in spirit. I had the candle lit for those who could not be with us wearing their football jerseys and drinking a cold beer to be thought of. After everyone left and it was just the three of us again, we lit our Red, White and Blue candles and placed them out front. Today EVERYTHING has been remembered.

Oh... and its STILL raining...


  1. "Today EVERYTHING has been remembered" Love it. You are wonderful!