Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Don't cry over spilled milk

Whoever coined the phrase, "Don't cry over spilled milk" was obviously not a breastfeeding/pumping working mother.

I have come to a crossroad about whether or not I should continue breastfeeding and pumping. My original goal for breastfeeding was until I went back to work. Then we bought a pump and my goal became 6 months, and then later, after I realized how easy it was for us, it became a year. In the last month my supply has dropped and we have encountered some bumps in our smooth sailing path of breastfeeding. It has me questioning whether to keep at it or throw in the towel.

Now that Connor is eating solid foods and on an evening schedule it makes it difficult for me to want to spend chunks of my evening pumping. In a given day I spend at least 5-6 hours pumping, cleaning my pump parts, planning out my supply, and packing up my pump for the next day.

I feel that if I could spend that time with Connor he would be getting more out the quality mommy time than the antibodies from the breast milk. I would be happier spending time with my son than stressing about how many ounces I've pumped for the day. A person in one of my online groups said it best, "A happy mommy equals a happy baby".

I will be sad to let go of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is the one thing I am very glad we were able to do. I know there are many women who are not able to produce enough milk or the baby can't latch. We are very fortunate that Connor was born a pro and didn't have any issues. We are very fortunate that my milk came in the second day after birth. I will have the memories of us bonding and spending that special time together.

The sadness in my heart about letting go of all of this will be replaced by my excitement in the horizon. I'll be able to run errands after work without having to come home to pump first. I'll be able to make it to my yoga class at the gym after work because pumping won't be holding me up. I'll be able to take care of dinner earlier so there will be extra time with Connor before bed. The list goes on and on.

So as Connor turns 6 months I'm hanging up the pump and nursing bras and looking forward to making some awesome wholesome baby food.

2 comments:

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  2. Hi
    I'm going through the same as you did about quitting bfing. My baby turns 6 months today and I want to stop bfing but I'm feeling guilty and sad.
    It's so hard to make this decision.
    How do you feel after quitting?

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